10th Interview

​Male Interviewer 1: You are welcome for this interview. Please have a seat.
*takes the nearest seat to the table
Female Interviewer: I’m called Rose, that is Patrick and over there is Emma. We are your panelists for today.
Me: Hello Patrick. Hello Emma. Nice to meet you Rose.
Emma: So tell us about yourself Perez..
*Rose interjects: Let’s skip the formalities Emma. Let’s just get on with the real questions.
Emma: Alright. Perez, why would you like to work for us?
Me: Well, I have recently graduated from university and i would like to work for a fast paced company that seeks to complete client’s work in the shortest time possible. this job opening seems tailor made for me and suits my credentials perfectly. It would also give me opportunity to enhance my career and make new connections in the Water Engineering field.
Patrick: Did you carry a copy of your academic documents?
ME: Yes. 
*hands over certified copy of transcript, UACE and UCE certificates
Rose: Where do you see yourself in five years?
ME: I hope to have a more senior position in the company, helping it grow and achieve its targets. I also hope to have achieved at least 40% of my life targets through working for your company.
Patrick: What university did you study from?
ME: *stares at the transcript in Patrick’s hands, looks into his face, wonders what the fuck he has been reading all this while.
Patrick: Ohh…Busitema University…what course did you do?
ME: *is this dude sober or what?
ME: Well I studied Water Resources Engineering and I’m well versed with water treatment techniques, house construction, dams and bridges, hydrology and rainfall, surveying, mines and minerals, business, water supply and geographic information systems.
Patrick: In what district is this Busitema University?
ME: Busia district. If i may ask, of what relevance is this question to the job at hand?
Emma: Well, we don’t usually hire people outside of Makerere University.
ME: Well, why didn’t you put that in your job advert as well? You people have the guts to constitute an interview panel of people who don’t even know the public universities in Uganda!? And then you claim you don’t hire outside of Makerere? Wait a minute, do you guys even know what the hired candidate will do? Or you just did Human resource Mgt and now think you know what an Engineer does? This is the reason why most youth these days are skeptical about applying for jobs with companies such as yours. You think a graduate from MUK is better than me at executing these duties? Don’t you know we are all half baked regardless of what university we graduate from? You lot are just unserious. And by the way, if you had asked me what I knew about the company, i would have told you that the company owner is a Senior Four drop out who started this company from scratch so that self gloating bastards like you could sit and swing around chairs on interview panels pretending you love the company more than he does.
ME: *smiles like a new born baby.
ME: I hope I’m successful. Thank you Rose and Emma. It was a pleasure meeting you.
*falls over chair as I walk out of the room….

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Gorretti says:

    ooh my you are so good. the writing is on point

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