The taxi conductor stuck his head out screaming at the top of his voice: “Kamwokya Ntinda Kamwokya Ntinda lukumi lukumi”. The driver continuously hooted, amplifying the noise around us and raising our tempers. We’d been at the stage for over half an hour already, waiting for non-existent passengers to show up. The traffic jam was slowly building up as government offices closed for the weekend and the Friday night parties. I slowly closed my eyes, breathed in deeply and counted to ten. I was about to explode in anger just at the exact moment the driver decided to move his old taxi. I really should buy my own car soon. Maybe around the year 2056.
Anyway, a few meters into our journey, this fat man hailed the taxi and after coming to a stop right next to his annoyingly fat self, he asked the conductor if the fare to Ntinda could be reduced to 500/= for him. He talked about the tough economic times. That the sugar and Oil prices had severely impacted his personal economy and made him dirt broke. He said he was a regular user of this particular taxi and even knew how many times its got washed in a week. He told the conductor about his two kids at home, Sharon and James, anxiously awaiting their father’s return. He said he was really really sorry but the extra 500/= was just not there in his pocket.
As all this was going on, the rest of the passengers were engrossed in their phones, hardly paying attention to the proceedings outside the taxi. When they realised that we’d spent an abnormally long time waiting for this guy, they switched attention and started scrutinizing Mr. Fat man. His belly hang low over his waist line. He had the fat cheeks of former NSSF Principal Accountant Chamdi Jamwa. His hands and fingers were impeccably manicured like those of Peter Sematimba. His clothes hang loosely on his body like those of a fat NRM member of Parliament. He carried a Nakumatt bag…you know those packaging bags they give people who shop from Nakumatt. This wasn’t a broke guy. No way. Fat liar. He probably even had diabetes from eating this sugar of 8k a kilo. Bastard.